The last few months of my life have come at a good price - unfortunate things that have happened, endless amounts of work I have been given to do and the good old money situation. And whilst everything's been going on, I've been hugely neglecting my blog.
BUT I've found some inspiration, and YES, it's that same old conversation about the weather!
It sure is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. It's now 4th December, the temperature's fair plummeted, we've seen snow and there's been Christmas compilation CD's played through the city for the past 4 weeks. If that's not enough to get you in the Christmas spirit, then I don't know what is.
I'm genuinely concerned about the temperature however, I can't cope with how cold it is and it's starting to seriously affect my life! I don't want to go out nor in fact even leave my flat at any time of the day!
On the plus side of it all, today is Christmas shopping day. And, I WILL wear as many layers as I can fit under my coat. Brrrrr
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Halloween
I can't decide if I like Halloween or not.
13 years ago when my mum used to dress me up (in the most unimaginative costumes you've ever seen) it was one of the most exciting nights of the year.
Friends + dressing up + free sweets and money --- what more could a child ever want in the world?
But as I grew up, I realised what Halloween was all about. SCARING people. And I'm a wimp.
Well, that's a lie, as just 10 minutes ago I was googling it's actual meaning. And if you care at all: It originates from the influence of harvest festivals and festivals of the dead with possible pagan roots. Sounds scary to me!
You'll probably agree with me that it's one of the weirdest concepts...one whereby children dress up to scare each other, knock on strangers houses calling 'trick-or-treat' and accept gifts from those who open the door and choose to 'treat'. Call me stupid but since I was a young child I've been led to believe that we don't talk to strangers and we don't take sweets from strangers.
But that's ok because it's Halloween?
13 years ago when my mum used to dress me up (in the most unimaginative costumes you've ever seen) it was one of the most exciting nights of the year.
Friends + dressing up + free sweets and money --- what more could a child ever want in the world?
But as I grew up, I realised what Halloween was all about. SCARING people. And I'm a wimp.
Well, that's a lie, as just 10 minutes ago I was googling it's actual meaning. And if you care at all: It originates from the influence of harvest festivals and festivals of the dead with possible pagan roots. Sounds scary to me!
You'll probably agree with me that it's one of the weirdest concepts...one whereby children dress up to scare each other, knock on strangers houses calling 'trick-or-treat' and accept gifts from those who open the door and choose to 'treat'. Call me stupid but since I was a young child I've been led to believe that we don't talk to strangers and we don't take sweets from strangers.
But that's ok because it's Halloween?
Monday, 15 October 2012
Neglect
So it's fair to say I've been neglecting this blog for some time now. But I've had a hectic summer and have been lacking inspiration, motivation and any drive to write anything other than what I've had no other choice but to do.
Aside from one big family trauma, the summer consisted of working and...no just working.
However, at the end of summer I found myself in Tenerife. Sunny Tenerife. Me and my girls went for a week of sun, sea and rest...and obviously made a few trips to the Veronicas strip for cocktails and fun!
Now I'm back at uni, finding motivation and trying to fill my empty days due to a three-hour working week at university. I find myself looking for things to fill my time between 1pm on a Monday until 9am on a Friday! I could work a full-time job whilst I'm here at uni - and the money would be more than welcome in to my neglected and bare-looking bank account.
So my aim now is to get myself back into a routine (&blogging!) xx
Aside from one big family trauma, the summer consisted of working and...no just working.
However, at the end of summer I found myself in Tenerife. Sunny Tenerife. Me and my girls went for a week of sun, sea and rest...and obviously made a few trips to the Veronicas strip for cocktails and fun!
Now I'm back at uni, finding motivation and trying to fill my empty days due to a three-hour working week at university. I find myself looking for things to fill my time between 1pm on a Monday until 9am on a Friday! I could work a full-time job whilst I'm here at uni - and the money would be more than welcome in to my neglected and bare-looking bank account.
So my aim now is to get myself back into a routine (&blogging!) xx
Sunday, 24 June 2012
R1 Hackney Weekender
This last weekend saw my life being taken over by Radio 1's Hackney weekend. No, I wasn't privileged enough to get tickets to go to the show down in London, but it was certainly rubbed in my face from every angle. I put the radio on (obviously Radio 1) and all I heard were screaming, lucky crowds of people and when I turned the TV on there was live coverage all over BBC3. It was like I couldn't escape it, despite being hundreds of miles north, but secretly I was loving the bombardment.
Whilst enjoying every moment I heard or saw of the weekend, each second of it agitated me more and more because I wasn't there! I was VERY lucky to go last year when it came to Carlisle. Not because I got tickets. My friend's sister got two tickets and gave them to her and she chose to take me. It was one of the best days of my life...music, crowds, amazing atmospheres, cider, mile-long toilet queues and rain. But every little thing made it what it was. Frustratingly, we had to get back to Newcastle after the show and our only mode of transport was the train...which meant we missed the last (and headline) act... LADY freakin' GAGA. Yes. We missed Lady Gaga.
It's events like this which make me feel angry at my lack of attendance; so angry that I feel more determined than ever to succeed in what I want to do. Getting my own way and getting the job I want, I will be sat next to Greg James in Fearne's seat in a few years time (not because I'm getting rid of you Fearne Cotton, I love you).
RADIO 1 you better give me tickets next year, or employ me, or I swearrr I will give the security guards a back hander (sly money, not a smack!) !!!
 |
| Me and Eloise at BBCR1 Weekend Carlisle <3 |
It's events like this which make me feel angry at my lack of attendance; so angry that I feel more determined than ever to succeed in what I want to do. Getting my own way and getting the job I want, I will be sat next to Greg James in Fearne's seat in a few years time (not because I'm getting rid of you Fearne Cotton, I love you).
RADIO 1 you better give me tickets next year, or employ me, or I swearrr I will give the security guards a back hander (sly money, not a smack!) !!!
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Power through melody and tune
I've never been one to get emotional easily...not in terms of crying anyway! I'm always laughing or smiling, so I guess in that respect I am one hugely emotional person. But recently, I've become an emotional wreck and I'm not sure what to put it down to.
Through my life I've watched sad films, sad tv programmes, listened to upsetting songs and read heartbreaking things... but not once shed a single tear. Throughout the past few weeks I must have made up for the past (almost) 20 years of dry-eye and covered the next 20 whilst I was at it! Even the videos played through charity concerts, which are supposed to reduce us to tears so we donate money, have never affected me. Is it that I was cold hearted? Or, did I just not take it all in properly? I don't know.
Last week I was found sobbing at the last episode of One Tree Hill, despite the fact I didn't know what was going on because I had missed the previous 2 series, the week before that, I filled up watching the episode of TOWIE where they ran the London Marathon. And, last night I felt massively emotional watching the Jubilee song; the effort and work from Gary Barlow combined with the fact that all of these children and people had been brought over from poor and undeveloped countries to take part in such a huge event reduced me to tears. It wasn't that I felt happy for the Queen in her 60 year reign, but I felt overjoyed and overwhelmed that the event was bringing all of these people together.
However, it didn't take me long to realise that it's all down to music. No matter what race we are, religion we are or what language we speak in, music is something that we can all relate to. Music is about the only thing that's communicated the same way through every country and in every language; it gives the same message to whoever may be listening to it.
And it even comes back to TV programmes, or soaps, because if they want you to feel sad then they tell you to feel that emotion with the music that they play in the background.
Music communicates, controls and comforts us.
Through my life I've watched sad films, sad tv programmes, listened to upsetting songs and read heartbreaking things... but not once shed a single tear. Throughout the past few weeks I must have made up for the past (almost) 20 years of dry-eye and covered the next 20 whilst I was at it! Even the videos played through charity concerts, which are supposed to reduce us to tears so we donate money, have never affected me. Is it that I was cold hearted? Or, did I just not take it all in properly? I don't know.
Last week I was found sobbing at the last episode of One Tree Hill, despite the fact I didn't know what was going on because I had missed the previous 2 series, the week before that, I filled up watching the episode of TOWIE where they ran the London Marathon. And, last night I felt massively emotional watching the Jubilee song; the effort and work from Gary Barlow combined with the fact that all of these children and people had been brought over from poor and undeveloped countries to take part in such a huge event reduced me to tears. It wasn't that I felt happy for the Queen in her 60 year reign, but I felt overjoyed and overwhelmed that the event was bringing all of these people together.
However, it didn't take me long to realise that it's all down to music. No matter what race we are, religion we are or what language we speak in, music is something that we can all relate to. Music is about the only thing that's communicated the same way through every country and in every language; it gives the same message to whoever may be listening to it.
And it even comes back to TV programmes, or soaps, because if they want you to feel sad then they tell you to feel that emotion with the music that they play in the background.
Music communicates, controls and comforts us.
Saturday, 26 May 2012
Our lives aren't scripted
For years now, possibly from as far back as the day I learned to speak, I've begged my parents to watch films with me. Night after night, I would pray for a bad night of television and back when I was younger, it was easier because we only had the bog-standard terrestrial TV channels: 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Since coming in to the digital age, my mum or dad have always found some programme to 'start' watching or a random repeat of some show they used to love. So we haven't spent many nights watching films.
It's my dad really; he's always against putting a DVD on or watching a film. But tonight I've realised why. It's taken me nearly 20 years and a massive amount of films for me to reach this conclusion. Escapism. To take 1 hour and 40 minutes, or sometimes 2 hours, to watch a film...all we're doing is escaping our own lives; we're watching somebody else's world, through their eyes, feeling their pain and conveying emotion which comes from a built-up fantasy world which doesn't even exist.
And that's fair enough, sometimes we do need to escape.
But tonight I've realised that when we escape our own lives for a couple of hours, watching a film or box-set, we're missing out on the world WE live in. This may not make sense to you, but look at it this way - we might miss the evening news, a new television series or an episode of a soap opera. And at the time it might not seem a big deal, nor a problem. We live in a world which revolves around the televsion; day-to-day conversations are based on what happened last night on TOWIE, or who killed who in Eastenders and, to you, it may not matter to be part of the conversation. But, it's good to know what's going on in the REAL WORLD.
I'm struggling to explain what I mean... I've zero common sense and when this is combined with my standard of general knowledge, which is at rock bottom, I come across as pretty thick. But my dad, he knows everything. So, I'm beginning to think that spending my time watching the News, boring (educational) information programmes and being part of the world I live in (rather than one on the screen) can only teach me things.
We need to live our lives instead of trying to live through a character.
It's my dad really; he's always against putting a DVD on or watching a film. But tonight I've realised why. It's taken me nearly 20 years and a massive amount of films for me to reach this conclusion. Escapism. To take 1 hour and 40 minutes, or sometimes 2 hours, to watch a film...all we're doing is escaping our own lives; we're watching somebody else's world, through their eyes, feeling their pain and conveying emotion which comes from a built-up fantasy world which doesn't even exist.
And that's fair enough, sometimes we do need to escape.
But tonight I've realised that when we escape our own lives for a couple of hours, watching a film or box-set, we're missing out on the world WE live in. This may not make sense to you, but look at it this way - we might miss the evening news, a new television series or an episode of a soap opera. And at the time it might not seem a big deal, nor a problem. We live in a world which revolves around the televsion; day-to-day conversations are based on what happened last night on TOWIE, or who killed who in Eastenders and, to you, it may not matter to be part of the conversation. But, it's good to know what's going on in the REAL WORLD.
I'm struggling to explain what I mean... I've zero common sense and when this is combined with my standard of general knowledge, which is at rock bottom, I come across as pretty thick. But my dad, he knows everything. So, I'm beginning to think that spending my time watching the News, boring (educational) information programmes and being part of the world I live in (rather than one on the screen) can only teach me things.
We need to live our lives instead of trying to live through a character.
Friday, 18 May 2012
What's the answer?
Life is like a game; we make choices, we take risks and, in many ways, we're trapped.
As we go through life, our choices and decisions get harder. From being given the choice between red and blue socks at age 3, before we know it we're being asked to decide what we want to do with our future. And shortly after that, we're made to decide where we want to live, who with, how many kids we want and what we want to call them. Life's a game of swings and roundabouts, mistakes and lessons. But, it all comes down to the player; yourself. We can listen to people and take advice, but at the end of the day, there's only you who can make the decision. And it's you who has to face the consequences.
Who's to tell us that we made a wrong decision? Sometimes, I think we need to have made the wrong decisions so we can move forward and learn the lesson.
Life would be so much easier if somebody told us what to do, or showed us what consequences our actions would have. There's been many a time where I've been so scared to make a decision, that I've missed out on something or hurt somebody, or hurt myself.
I don't believe our lives are pre-programmed, like the game we play on our computer, but they are shaped by the decisions we make. And that's why we need to make them tactfully.
As we go through life, our choices and decisions get harder. From being given the choice between red and blue socks at age 3, before we know it we're being asked to decide what we want to do with our future. And shortly after that, we're made to decide where we want to live, who with, how many kids we want and what we want to call them. Life's a game of swings and roundabouts, mistakes and lessons. But, it all comes down to the player; yourself. We can listen to people and take advice, but at the end of the day, there's only you who can make the decision. And it's you who has to face the consequences.
Who's to tell us that we made a wrong decision? Sometimes, I think we need to have made the wrong decisions so we can move forward and learn the lesson.
Life would be so much easier if somebody told us what to do, or showed us what consequences our actions would have. There's been many a time where I've been so scared to make a decision, that I've missed out on something or hurt somebody, or hurt myself.
I don't believe our lives are pre-programmed, like the game we play on our computer, but they are shaped by the decisions we make. And that's why we need to make them tactfully.
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Another chapter
Its coming to the end of another year; well another academic year at least. Despite paying, what seems like, £4billion a year to study at uni, we only seem to spend about 2 weeks a year sat in a lecture theatre. But that's life. As us second years prepare for a year of library days and dissertation break-downs, the freshers are gearing up to actually do some work and the third years are departing...which makes me a little sad!
2 years in to university seems like only 2 weeks and we've only half left of what we have already done. This time is going to fly! And I'm not going to lie, I'm panicking.
As I take a look at the past two years of my life, the best two years of my life, I feel buzz and excitement. And when I look to next year when we'll pack up our flat, say goodbye to some of the best friends we could ever have made and go back home to where we came from, I feel sick. The experience has been life changing, in fact, I didn't for one moment think I'd even enjoy it, never mind feel this devastated at the thought of leaving it all behind.
But that's when I realised...life works in stages. Just two years ago we all felt the same when we left secondary school. We were set in our ways, had our own little groups of friends, had the safety of the family home and, the majority of us, had our mothers to change our beds. But we took a leap to the next step and I, hand on my heart, wouldn't look back. Everything which has happened, good or bad, has happened for a reason and I've learnt more than I could ever have imagined; friends, relationships and the things I should've already known - cooking (if you can call it that), washing, making beds and cleaning bathrooms.
One thing I'll never learn is to brush my hair. So as I finish the last third of my university life, I'll do everything to its full potential, take risks, laugh loud, party hard and make sure I cherish every moment. The tears, laughter, work and even more hard and heavy cleaning lessons to come will be remembered forever. And I'll never regret anything that felt right at the time.
Nobody knows what's around the corner but looking at the step I took from school to university keeps me feeling positive about what could possibly be next!
2 years in to university seems like only 2 weeks and we've only half left of what we have already done. This time is going to fly! And I'm not going to lie, I'm panicking.
As I take a look at the past two years of my life, the best two years of my life, I feel buzz and excitement. And when I look to next year when we'll pack up our flat, say goodbye to some of the best friends we could ever have made and go back home to where we came from, I feel sick. The experience has been life changing, in fact, I didn't for one moment think I'd even enjoy it, never mind feel this devastated at the thought of leaving it all behind.
But that's when I realised...life works in stages. Just two years ago we all felt the same when we left secondary school. We were set in our ways, had our own little groups of friends, had the safety of the family home and, the majority of us, had our mothers to change our beds. But we took a leap to the next step and I, hand on my heart, wouldn't look back. Everything which has happened, good or bad, has happened for a reason and I've learnt more than I could ever have imagined; friends, relationships and the things I should've already known - cooking (if you can call it that), washing, making beds and cleaning bathrooms.
One thing I'll never learn is to brush my hair. So as I finish the last third of my university life, I'll do everything to its full potential, take risks, laugh loud, party hard and make sure I cherish every moment. The tears, laughter, work and even more hard and heavy cleaning lessons to come will be remembered forever. And I'll never regret anything that felt right at the time.
Nobody knows what's around the corner but looking at the step I took from school to university keeps me feeling positive about what could possibly be next!
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Do you really know your best friend?
You can spend 5 days a week with somebody, text for 24 hours of each day, know their whole family and think you know them inside out; for better or for worse. But recently, I've started to ask myself - do we ever really know a person properly?
As friends, you can share everything; sweets, ideas and memories. But when it comes down to it, you only have to tell what you want to tell. And this is where we have to make our own decisions about who we want to trust. It can be difficult and we all make mistakes...but I don't call them mistakes, they're learning curves, lessons and sometimes blessings. Now, trust yourself, make decisions and don't live any regrets.
On and up.
And this morning has forced me to ask myself again: do we ever really know a person properly? One of my best friends from university, who I thought I knew pretty well, popped up on my Facebook timeline in a video which was obviously shared by accident, or appeared because of Facebook's new stalkerish ways! And I only think this because I've never heard or seen anything like it from her! I'm sat here in awe at what I've just watched... take a look yourself! AND BE AMAZED. -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=H2rkpmsBeMU
So next time you go for coffee, cosy up with a take away or go all out on a night out, ask yourself if you know who and what you're dealing with.
As friends, you can share everything; sweets, ideas and memories. But when it comes down to it, you only have to tell what you want to tell. And this is where we have to make our own decisions about who we want to trust. It can be difficult and we all make mistakes...but I don't call them mistakes, they're learning curves, lessons and sometimes blessings. Now, trust yourself, make decisions and don't live any regrets.
On and up.
And this morning has forced me to ask myself again: do we ever really know a person properly? One of my best friends from university, who I thought I knew pretty well, popped up on my Facebook timeline in a video which was obviously shared by accident, or appeared because of Facebook's new stalkerish ways! And I only think this because I've never heard or seen anything like it from her! I'm sat here in awe at what I've just watched... take a look yourself! AND BE AMAZED. -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=H2rkpmsBeMU
So next time you go for coffee, cosy up with a take away or go all out on a night out, ask yourself if you know who and what you're dealing with.
Saturday, 21 April 2012
Long time no speak!
Wow, it's been a while since I posted my last blog!! I've been busy doing the usual - nothing!
It find it funny how we can feel so rushed off our feet, so busy, and yet we aren't living the hectic lifestyle that we're making out we are. I look back at my weeks and think 'what have I done?'...but I struggle to answer myself.
It's been the Easter holidays from Uni, so I've been back home in the Lake District which means I've been at work and doing so many of my assignments (NOT!). I've been trying to earn myself money to fund the next semester back in Newcastle. But in terms of my essays, portfolios, work placement hunting and whatever else I was supposed to do, I'm slacking! Massively!!!
Anyway, I'll be back in my routine by tomorrow as I'm heading back to uni. This means: nights out, completed assignments, no rules...STUDENT LIFE!
It find it funny how we can feel so rushed off our feet, so busy, and yet we aren't living the hectic lifestyle that we're making out we are. I look back at my weeks and think 'what have I done?'...but I struggle to answer myself.
It's been the Easter holidays from Uni, so I've been back home in the Lake District which means I've been at work and doing so many of my assignments (NOT!). I've been trying to earn myself money to fund the next semester back in Newcastle. But in terms of my essays, portfolios, work placement hunting and whatever else I was supposed to do, I'm slacking! Massively!!!
Anyway, I'll be back in my routine by tomorrow as I'm heading back to uni. This means: nights out, completed assignments, no rules...STUDENT LIFE!
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