Don't give me responsibility

Growing up is scary.

Responsibility comes with age. And responsibility scares me. A lot. Simple things like locking the door at night and making my own tea prove difficult tasks at times and I find myself seriously doubting that I have done it right, or to a good enough standard.

I remember the first time I locked the door by myself, I had to get out of bed and check I had definitely locked it. Not just the once, but many times. And the first time I used the oven, I spent the night laying awake and worrying that I was going to burn the house down. It wasn't unusual for one of my parents to receive a text after I had left for school asking them to check the grill (after my toast) and my straighteners (because school was obviously a fashion parade). I've always gone weak at the knees when it comes to responsibility but I'm not sure who, or what, that's down to.

Since coming to University, I've got a lot better. I can now make pasta, potatoes, rice, lock the door AND successfully wash, dry and straighten my own hair. Ok, bit far, but I've now learnt to just get on with it. If it's been left on, it's been left on. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? The house could burn down, but how likely is that? I'm not stupid, just unsure and untrusting of myself.

I'm 19, I can turn appliances off.